What does the Bible say about marriage, in particular, marriage between the saved and unsaved?
Love and Faith
What does the Bible say about marriage, in particular, marriage between the saved and unsaved? When dreaming about your ideal marriage, you probably think of a lifetime of love, partnership, and building a family. It certainly can be these things, but as a Christian it’s important for the foundation of your marriage to not just be about love, but about shared faith. The Bible calls it being “equally yoked,” and it’s one of the most critical aspects of a God-honoring relationship. Let’s explore what this means and why it matters so deeply for committed believers.
What Does “Equally Yoked” Mean?
The term “equally yoked” comes from 2 Corinthians: “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness” (2 Cor 6:14)? In biblical times, a yoke was a wooden frame used to join two animals—often oxen—so they could work together in plowing fields. If the animals were mismatched, such as pairing a strong ox with a weaker one, they couldn’t pull evenly. The work would be inefficient, and the weaker animal could be injured. In the same way, being unequally yoked in marriage means being tied to someone who does not share your faith and Christian values. It’s not about superiority or judgment; it’s about walking together in unity, especially in your spiritual life.
Strong Foundation
Jesus teaches us the importance of building our lives on a strong foundation. In Matthew 7, He compares those who hear His words and follow them to a wise builder: “And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock” (Matt 7:25). Marriage is one of the most significant “houses” you’ll ever build, and faith is the rock on which that house must stand. When both partners share a commitment to Christ, they’re united by something unshakeable. But if one partner’s foundation is Christ and the other’s is not, cracks can form. When you’re married, every decision—big or small—is made together. From finances to raising children to handling life’s struggles, your faith influences how you approach these areas.
A Shared Faith
If you and your spouse have different beliefs about what matters most, it can create division and conflict. Shared faith allows you to navigate decisions with a common purpose, seeking God’s will together. And If God blesses you with children, shared faith becomes even more crucial. The Bible says, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Prov 22:6). Raising children in a divided homes can be confusing for them and increase the odds that that they won’t embrace Christian values and biblical teachings as they grow up. But when both parents model a Christ-centered life, it creates a strong, consistent foundation for the next generation.
Challenges in Being Unequally Yoked
Some of you might be thinking, “But what if I’m already dating someone who isn’t a believer?” or “What if I fall in love with someone who doesn’t share my faith?” These are valid concerns, and they’re not easy to navigate. And while love is powerful, it’s not enough to overcome every challenge. A friend of mine once shared her experience of being married to a non-believer. Her husband was a kind, hardworking man who supported her faith but didn’t share it. Over time, she found herself going to church alone, praying alone, and feeling isolated in the most important area of her life. It didn’t mean they didn’t love each other, but it created a gap neither could fully bridge. The Bible urges us to prioritize God above all else, even in our relationships, saying, “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (Matt 6:33). If your partner’s heart is not aligned with God’s, it can pull you away from seeking Him first.
What to Look for in a Faithful Partner
If you’re single and committed to honoring God in your relationships, there are a few qualities to look for as you seek out your future spouse. Look for someone who loves God more than they love you – a person’s relationship with Christ will influence every aspect of their life, from how they treat you to how they handle challenges. And makes sure they’re genuine and live out their faith. Being equally yoked isn’t just about claiming the label of “Christian,” it’s about shared spiritual maturity. Do they seek God in prayer? Do they strive to live according to His Word? Marriage is a journey, and spiritual growth doesn’t stop at the altar. Choose someone who’s eager to grow in faith with you, whether that’s through church involvement, Bible study, or serving others.
Trusting God with Your Future
Waiting for the right person can be difficult, especially when you’re surrounded by friends who seem to be finding their partner fairly easily, but remember, God’s timing is perfect. The Psalms encourages us to “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord” (Psalm 27:14)! Instead of settling for someone who doesn’t share your faith, trust that God knows your heart and your desires. He is faithful to provide what you need as the Scriptures say, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4). There are also some great Christian dating apps, communities and resources like from Be-Salt, which will help you meet someone who is aligned in their love for Jesus and is committed to Biblical principles. God wants the best for you and if you truly desire a spouse, then they’re worth finding.
Conclusion
Marriage is one of the most beautiful gifts God has given us, but it’s also one of the most challenging. Being equally yoked ensures that you and your spouse are walking the same path, guided by the same Savior. It’s not about finding the perfect person, but about finding someone who is pursuing the perfect God alongside you. There are lots of great resources regarding Christian relationships, dating, courtship, and pursuit of the person God has for you, but also there’s real value in being content where you are while you wait for the person He has for you. As you pray and prepare for marriage, remember that God’s plan for you is good, and His guidance is trustworthy. Seek Him first, and everything else will fall into place.
Author’s Bio: Matthew Townend is a father, husband, and writer. He is a Vineyard School of Biblical Studies graduate and passionate Christian who met his wife on the SALT Christian Dating App.
Here is some related reading for you: Do Huge Age Differences Matter in Marriage or Relationships?
Resource – Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), Crossway Bibles. (2007). ESV: Study Bible: English standard version. Wheaton, Ill: Crossway Bibles. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
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