4 Important Questions for Someone You Are Dating or Marrying

If you are dating someone or considering marriage, here are 4 vital questions to ask before you get married.

Come Out of Her My People

If you are dating someone or considering marriage, here are 4 vital questions to ask before you get married. The first and absolutely most important consideration in a partner must be that he or she is a believer. In fact, we are commanded to not marry outside of the faith just as Jews were not allowed to marry Gentiles. The Apostle Paul says, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness” (2 Cor 6:14)? Speaking of the world, God’s desire for us is to “Come out from them and be separate” (Isaiah 52:11), certainly not marry them. For those who don’t, it can be a terribly mixed-up marriage. The unsaved world will be judged, thus God says to us, “Come out of her, my people, lest you take part in her sins, lest you share in her plagues” (Rev 18:4). We are not of the world…so we should not marry someone who is of the world.

Unequally Yoked

Imagine you see a farmer getting ready to plow his or her field. They hook up a powerful ox to one side and on the other side, a tiny little Chihuahua. Which side is going to work the hardest? Will they plow together in an equal fashion? Can they walk along and carry the load on an equal basis? Can they even walk in agreement? Of course not! One will likely be dragged along and impede the progress of the other. One may pull to the left, wanting to go in one direction while the other one may pull to the right, wanting the exact opposite direction. Their morals will not be the same, they may have differing principles in child rearing, their television or movie taste will be not be the same, their language, work ethic, just about everything will be different. They will struggle at almost everything they do. Do they like to eat out but you don’t? Is one a home body while the other likes to go out to movies or dancing?

A yoke is a harness used to equally share the load.

How They Treat Their Parents

Besides how they treat you, how do they treat their parents? Are they negative and always putting them down, or are they thankful for their parents, despite them not being perfect? Do they lift up their parents with genuine compliments or do they criticize the way they raised them? We know one of the 10 Commandments is that we should honor our parents, so is the person your dating honoring their parents? How do they treat or talk to them and about them? Even in the New Testament, we are still commanded, “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise)” (Eph 6:2). If you do honor your parents, “it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land” (Eph 6:3). If you don’t honor your parents, it may not go so well for you in life.

How They Treat Children

Next, how does this potential marriage partner react to children? Do they like being around them? Are they avoidant of children? How do they tolerate screaming babies? If they are a potential mate and don’t like children, that could present a future crisis. If they want children, then how many would they want? What kind of parent would they be if they don’t like being around children now? Will they go to church or not? Will one parent insist on bringing them to Sunday school while the other parent tries to forbid it? I hope you see my point.

How They Treat Pets

Much of the same things we wrote about liking or not liking children, could be applied to animals. How people treat their parents and how they react around children is most important, but are they gentle, loving and caring about pets and animals, or do they hate cats or can’t stand dogs, or are allergic to either or both? If someone is cruel to their own pet, that’s a warning sign they might be cruel in a marriage. If they are mean or critical of their parents, they may be mean and critical in the marriage…and if they don’t like or care about pets, or treat them harshly, that same harsh treatment may show up in a marriage.

Summary

If the person you are dating is not a believer, stop! I want to save you a lot of heartbreak. We cannot hope to “win them to Christ,” for salvation is only an act of God (Acts 16:14). We can’t think, “Well, after we’re married, he or she won’t drink anymore or they’ll stop kicking the dog or…” Any potential partner should exhibit respect and honor for their parents (deserving or not!), they should be able to tolerate children and to care for them if need, be, and finally, they should be humane to animals. The Bible states plainly that “The righteous care for the needs of their animals, but the kindest acts of the wicked are cruel” (Prov 12:10).

Conclusion

I pray you have put your trust in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. If that has not happened yet, my friend, you are in real danger of hell fire. And I mean, in immediate danger. You’re one breath, one heartbeat…one accident away from eternity when it will be too late to repent. Today is the best day to believe (2 Cor 6:2) since tomorrow is no guarantee. If Jesus Christ came today, here is your fate (Matt 7:21-23). This is why I plead with you as you read this, repent today…and I mean right now. Put your trust in Jesus Christ. If you do not, you will face God’s judgment after death guaranteed (Heb 9:27) or at Jesus Christ’s appearance (Rev 20:12-15), which could happen at any moment.

Here is some related reading for you: Unequally Yoked Meaning – Scriptures and Lesson

Resource – Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version^® (ESV^®), Crossway Bibles. (2007). ESV: Study Bible: English standard version. Wheaton, Ill: Crossway Bibles. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Tagged as: Marriage, married, unequally yoked